I guess if you’re too lazy or whatever to read my blog or it’s too “controversial” for you, I’m gonna put a little tiny summary of my life on here. Life has been pretty sweet lately. Fe and I had our first fight but whatevs. We got it straightened out. Or at least he thinks we did. He seems to think I’m gonna tell him whenever I get the urge to travel. Yeah, we’ll see how long that lasts. I want a lover, not a mother.
But he made up with me nicely, buying me some bling from Cartier and then a BMW K1300S. I look super hot on that bike.
He’s leaving to go back to Volterra for work stuff soon so I think I’m gonna head out to California to visit Mary and Wade and maybe hit up Disneyland. I don’t like staying by myself in Barcelona, so if anyone wants to visit, drop me a line!
Catch ya later biatches!
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vixenthanh
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Helene
I had been thinking of that “morning after” argument we all had when Beth came home for days. I have come to this conclusion… I will love Marcus as I told him – no matter what. I have thought of ways to leave. To leave him be and be gone from him. Aside from dying, I just can’t do it. I can’t begin to explain it. I just have to be here near him… I will not leave my family and my duty. If I am whispered about because of our “dalliances” then so be it. I tire thinking and overthinking it, and I care not for what others think.
I also have come to this conclusion: Marcus may never be one of those “one woman” men. Though it pains me to think it, I really can’t change him. Please don’t judge him – and please don’t judge me for seeming so nonchalant about it. You can’t look at our relationships and measure them with human standards. For some lucky mated couples (like Esme and Carlisle), their relationships mirror those of the humans that surround them. They are very lucky to have found each other and to have been loyal to each other for so long. But for others of our kind; relationships are not as black and white. Let’s face it: even the best of us can screw the most perfect things up – especially when we have an eternity in which to do it.
Once you have been around for centuries, as Marcus has, your view of the world and its relationships differs. He had his mate. He loved her for centuries. Then he lost her. That will change a person. Can he love again? I think he can. Will it be me? I don’t know. I could torture myself with such thoughts – I have an eternity to do so don’t I? But I choose not to. I will just keep existing like I always have; and always will.
I am in love with him. I can’t change that. I may be meant for Marcus, or there may be someone else out there for me. But please don’t judge him because he can’t decide. He loved Didyme for centuries and he lost her. Maybe he is scared to choose. Maybe he doesn’t want to choose. I don’t have to like it, but I won’t force him to decide (as if I could). If he wants my love, it is his. If not, this is my fate and I will accept it…
But no more will I think of this relationship in human terms. I am fine with being his occasional companion – even if I am not his soulmate.
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mrmichaelnewton
What’s been going on with me…
I broke my arm in a hiking accident a few weeks ago when I was out with Tyler. I fell in a ravine and the good Dr. Cullen fixed me up with a royal blue cast. Luckily, it was my left arm and I’m right-handed. However, this has proven to be a major annoyance since I still have to work at Newton’s Outfitters. I couldn’t take off too much time since I’m Assistant Manager.
Jess and I are back together (at the moment). We just got back from a Memorial Day weekend trip to Victoria, BC, where Jess showed me all the sites. Can you believe I haven’t been there before? Me either. Dad always took us on camping trips growing up, but we hardly ever had a real vacation. We stayed in this really awesome bed & breakfast mansion with an amazing view. We had a blast and didn’t want to come home.
We are currently getting along quite well, even though I am proceeding with caution. I don’t want what happened last time to happen again. And I’d like us to have complete honesty with each other this time around. I think it complicates things when we play games with each other. We are going to the movies in Port Angeles this weekend, so we’re looking forward to that…
